"Going with the Flow" in Labour? Let's Talk About Where That Flow Often Leads...

I hear it all the time when chatting with expectant parents: “I’m just going to go with the flow.”

And I get it — that vibe of letting things unfold naturally, not overthinking, and hoping for a calm, instinctive birth experience. That makes sense, right?

Wrong.

Because here’s the thing no one tells you about “the flow”: it’s not your flow. It’s the system’s flow. And that current? It often runs straight through routine monitoring, past early inductions, and winds up at a planned ‘emergency’ C-section – leaving people dazed, confused, and wondering how they ended up so far from where they’d hoped to be.

Now, if that kind of birth genuinely feels right for you — cool. No judgement here. But if you’re imagining something different — physiological birth, minimal intervention, more say in what happens to your body — then going with the flow might not take you there.

This system doesn’t default to trusting birth. So to birth on your terms, you often need to swim upstream.

And swimming upstream doesn’t have to look like constant conflict. It looks like:

• Being informed about your options — all of them

• Feeling confident saying “No thanks” or “Tell me more”

• Having people around you who know your wishes and have your back

• Writing more than one birth plan — Plan A, B, C, maybe even D

• Preparing to ask, “Is this an emergency or do I have time to think?”

  
  

It’s not about rigid control — birth will still do its thing. But it’s about not getting swept away by a current you didn’t choose.

You are allowed to shape your birth experience. You are allowed to stop the flow and ask where it’s going. And you are strong enough to swim where you want to go — especially with the right support alongside you.

I'm here if you want to talk about what upstream might look like for you. No fear, no fluff. Just real-world prep and deep belief in your power.

Julia x

@doulajuliaiddir